Q. My mother-in-law lives out of state but comes to town for several weeks during holidays and ruins them with her drinking and drama. We had a huge fight at Thanksgiving and she told my wife it was me or her. My wife refused to choose but also refused to tell her mother not to come for Christmas. So, I told her mother if she planned to come, she needed to stay in a hotel.

She showed up on our doorstep ten days before Christmas and immediately picked up with her criticisms from Thanksgiving. I told my wife she was welcome to go stay in a hotel with her mother, but I would be welcoming our college kids home and would not let her ruin another holiday. Her mother had too much to drink and started smashing up our kitchen and I called the police and got her ordered out of the house.

My wife left the house with her mother. She filed for divorce and emergency orders to get back in the house. The judge ordered me out of the house until mid-January because she operates her decorating business out of our house and her mother claimed not to have enough money to change her flight or stay in a hotel.

I spent Christmas on my brother’s couch – our kids stayed here too. That seemed to be the wake-up call my wife needed. She now understands her mother is the problem. We agreed I would move back in but I don’t want to get in trouble. What do you suggest?

A. The answer really depends on the type of order that was entered.  If it was a “sole use and occupancy order,” you can move back in but I do recommend you exchange something in writing where she is making clear you are welcome, either a text or email will do. The worst case scenario is that she could ask you to leave if she changes her mind again and she could file a complaint for contempt with the court saying you came back in violation of the order. There would be no criminal consequences in this situation.

If the order says “Chapter 208 section 34B Vacate Order,” that goes on your record and has more teeth if you don’t abide by it.  If that is the case, first, assuming you no longer want to get divorced, she should write up a joint motion to dismiss her divorce which you should both sign and file with the court.  Also, you should write up a stipulation to dissolve the vacate order stating your joint decision to reconcile and for you to move back in.  Sign it before a notary public, file that with the court before going home.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com